Then I want to play Virally, I haven't played in over a year.
You honestly wouldn't have fun. Unless you like beating the shit out of infants and quadriplegics.
I would honestly be surprised if you are as bad as you say.
I wasn't AWFULAWFUL when I was playing half-way consistently with Abbie, but I think between all the SF/TvC and time off, I'm pretty shitty. I just do stupid things, like forget to turn around. Or not do any directional influence before using a recovery, etc. I'm a lot worse than you're imagining probably, but maybe not as bad as I'm saying. It's okay though, I'm badass enough at everything else to make up for it.
Throw me your friend code and we can play whenever.